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Facebook “Ghost Profiles” and the Personal Ramifications on Loved Ones

By Rob Howard on Jul 29 th, with 1 COMMENT

By Rob Howard, Entrustet Intern

After reading many personal stories of people dealing with death and Facebook, one thing remains clear- there are both perks and problems that family members experience with Facebook “Ghost Profiles.”

The Perks

- It is therapeutic to communicate with people who have deceased- writing on ones wall, tagging deceased family members in notes or photos may provide valuable grieving.

- Reading conversations between the lost loved one and other close friends may help one cope with death. Brenda Boitson, who recently lost her husband writes, “Thankfully to some Facebook messages between him and his friends, I was able to find closure on some questions I had that went unanswered after his death. She now posts her blog about widowhood on her on her Facebook. Check out Brenda’s blog here.

- Think of all the people outside your direct loop of friends. How would they find out about your death? Facebooks allows people to find out about acquaintances deaths or people we have lost touch with quicker and more completely than traditional forms of communication. A powerful example: A women we interviewed recently received a phone call from her mother that someone had “seen something on Facebook” regarding the whereabouts of her friend Tom (Tom is a pseudonym) who was missing. For the next 12 hours she pieced together what was happening to Tom (who had a drug overdosed) from his own Facebook page, where friends and family who knew of the event were already expressing their grief and giving updates on his condition.

The Problems

- The “catch up with this friend” or similar phrase sometimes appears on the right- hand side of your news feed. Many find this crushing and insensitive to their loss as it seems Facebook is mocking that you can no longer contact your lost loved one. Brenda Boiston writes, “The hardest part was when Facebook would put up ‘You haven’t contacted Kevin Boitson in a while- leave a message’-it was devastating.”

-Your Facebook (whether “Ghost Profile” or not) can be hacked into. Michelle B writes, “My best friend died from cancer last August. His page was hacked and it made us very angry. His profile was posting ad messages on friends walls.”

The answer to many of these problems could be avoided with memorializing a given Facebook page of the deceased. This sort of tribute allows posting, while Facebook is aware this profile is no longer ‘alive’. “This process allowed for people to respond with sympathy to all of us, which has been helpful.” says Susanne Alexander, whose husbdand died in 2009. Susanne is now rebuilding the relationship and marriage business called Marriage Transformation (which she and her husband created).

Many people would like their deceased loved ones profile automatically gone to avoid this situation all together- this option is possible by registering your account with Entrustet.

Got a related Facebook story? We’d love to hear from you.